White hole

Newt, Newt, Newt. As one boring white guy to another, I wonder about this:

“What I’m afraid of is that if Sen. McCain picks one more relatively boring, normal, mainstream Republican white guy … he just makes the ticket seem boring compared to the level of energy and drive and excitement that (Democrat Barack) Obama has,” warned Gingrich, himself a silver-haired, middle-aged white politician out of central casting. 

Boring white guys still run this ountry, and we’ve always had someone to represent us in the vice presidency! Are we to be left directionless? Will we become homeless and have to seek government assistance?

Oh, wait. Evan Bayh is said to be on Barack Obama’s “very short list.” Maybe we’ll be covered after all.

Going for the record

Never mind Jill Long Thompson’s gas-sales-tax-holiday gimmick. Let’s add another buck to the price of gas, and we’ll get that record for sure:

Traffic fatalities in Indiana this year have dropped 24 percent compared with last year — and experts say that’s largely due to gas prices keeping more vehicles off the road and drivers slowing down to improve gas mileage.

There were 373 traffic deaths recorded statewide from Jan. 1 to July 21 this year, compared with 494 in the same period last year, according to data from the Indiana Criminal Justice Institute. At the current pace, Indiana would break the record for fewest traffic fatalities — 792 in 2002 — since the state began keeping records 18 years ago.

I’ve finally noticed lighter traffic on I-69, so I buy the part about traveling less. But at lower speeds? Haven’t seen it — everybody still zips by me, even at up to 5 mph over the speed limit.

Turn off that car, officer!

Franklin College junior Kailee Fouch is a good little green, just like she was programmed to be in school. So when she took time off from her Brown County Democrat internship duties, she and a friend went only reluctantly to “the corruption known as Wal-Mart,” feeling a little guilty because of how much that sinful enterprise contributes to Indiana’s awful carbon footprint (49th-worst in the nation! better than only West Virginia!). Naturally, she was simply outraged for Mother Earth, when, on the way into the store, she spied a police car unattended and running! And when she came back out  in 45 minutes (guess she doesn’t hate Wal-Mart that much), it was still running. Well, that was just more than she could take:

I handed my bag off to my roommate, who knew what I was about to do. Despite her protests, I headed back to ask the officer to turn off his car.

I politely asked, and he politely informed me why it was still running. I threw in some facts about the damage done to the environment due to idling cars, and he obliged to turn off the ignition.

I forgot to mention that sometimes I exaggerate so when I said I almost went to jail, well, that was an exaggeration. Though, I really thought it was a possibility at the time.

I’m not afraid to do it again, even though I haven’t.

You’ve heard of citizen’s arrest — call this a citizen’s harangue. How come I never get lectured by pretty college juniors about my carbon footprint? Aren’t I careless enough with the environment? Don’t I make enough fun of mindless environmentalism? I can’t even send her to jail — my only power is to write mean things about her and, heck, I’ve already done that.

War wounds

Here’s a first. I find myself agreeing with part of a Dan Carpenter column:

Knowing there’s little risk of ruining that going concern, mayors and other elected officials nevertheless join with business leaders, clergy, sports figures and such to declare war on crime once and for all, as if it might form itself into a single giant Satanic entity that could be driven out of town by combined moral force. Or perhaps a hill to be taken by the Marines.

As we have seen to our continuing horror in recent weeks, the violence strikes where it’s going to strike, heedless of speeches and prayers, fearless of bold new policing strategies. Common decency and common sense have less effect on the phenomenon than cold weather.

But then he blames the usual suspects. More police would help, but taxpayers are too stingy to pay for them. “Less availability of guns” is a nice idea, but that would mean testing “the gun lobby.” Not that more cops or fewer weapons would have “a profound effect” on crime, but they would make “a strronger statement than the commendable tub token gestures our leaders painfully execute these days.” The residents of high-crime areas can be exhorted to “rise up and say no” to the thugs, but who can blame them if they decline to take that risk?

But authorities and residents can and do work together to make neighborhoods safer. Evil can’t be stopped, but it can be made to feel unwelcome. That’s not a “war” on crime, just one battle at a time.

Wiccan work it out

Hope she didn’t hear a voice saying, “You’re welcome”:

Police in Lebanon, Ind., said a woman performing a Wiccan ceremony in a city cemetery accidentally stabbed herself in the foot with a ceremonial sword.

 

A Lebanon Police Department release said Katherine Gunther, 36, ran the 36-inch blade through her left foot at about 12:15 a.m. Saturday while performing a ceremony of thanks at Oak Hill Cemetery, The Indianapolis Star reported Tuesday.

Gunther told police she was performing the ceremony because she recently had a string of good luck and wanted to express her gratitude with the religious ceremony. She said the blade hit her foot accidentally while she was attempting to put it into the ground.

Does that end the string of good luck, I wonder, or does the fact that she didn’t bleed to death count?

AAA

Good news: 

Indianapolis - State officials say an improved credit rating will save money by reducing interest rates on public debt.

Gov. Mitch Daniels announced Monday that Indiana has for the first time received the highest credit rating from Standard & Poors.

Office of Management and Budget director Ryan Kitchell says the AAA rating will allow the state to refinance some of the debt on Lucas Oil Stadium, saving the state $850,000 a year.

He said school systems also should see lower interest rates on their bond issues.

Jill Long Thompson made the best of it, saying that “while the credit upgrade was positive,” the state’s unemployment rate had also increased. But unemployment has gone up just about everywhere, but not many states have so improved their credit rating.

MotoCrossroads

This week’s “Hoosier bringing embarrassment to the state” entry:

A pastor brought out a dirt bike during a church service to demonstrate the concept of unity. Now he’s demonstrating the concept of healing.

Jeff Harlow, the senior pastor at Crossroads Community Church, broke his wrist when he lost control of the motorcycle at the start of Sunday’s second service, driving off a 5-foot platform and into the vacant first row of seats. He underwent surgery on the wrist Monday.

“Jeff has already laughed a lot, so he’s OK. I think his pride was bruised,” said his wife, Becky.

The story doesn’t say, but I bet he even let go of the snakes when he fell.

Facing hard time

If you spot Dustin Smith, 27, who escaped from the Edinburgh Correctional Facility, be sure to call authorities. You can’t miss him, really:

Smith, a 5-foot, 9-inch white male with a shaved head and brown eyes, has facial tattoos that make his appearance distinctive. According to a release, he has a “tribal design” on the left side of his face and forehead. He also has a tribal tattoo on the back of his head.

My guess — and it is only a guess, mind you — is that someone who gets tattoos on his face has pretty much decided he doesn’t care to fit into mainstream society. What do you think?

happy birThday!

The Model T turns 100 this week, and more than 900 of them are expected at the Wayne County Fairgrounds for the Model T Ford Centennial Party. This article explains some of the significance of the Tin Lizzie:

John Heitmann, a history professor at the University of Dayton who has taught classes on automobile history and its impact on American life, said the Model T is one of the most historically significant cars of the 20th century and maybe the single most important American car.

[. . .]

The Model T, nicknamed the “Tin Lizzie,” was probably the most important vehicle in causing social change in America, Heitmann said. It helped transform the nation’s cities, enabling residents to move farther away from the trolley lines and creating the first ring of suburbs, he said.

All of that is true, but it considerably understates the Model T’s transformation of society. Ford’s mass production ushered in the industrial age, establishing, among other things, the minimum wage and the eight-hour work day. And because the car was so cheap (becoming even cheaper, going from $825 in 1908 to $260 in 1925), the people who made them could actually buy them. So could millions of ordinary Americans. It might be stretching it to say that Ford and his Model T created the modern middle class, but they sure helped make it an enduring force.

Steak out

The way the economy has been struggling, you’d think this wasn’t the time to lauch a “national branding” for an emerging chain of high-end steakhouses, esecially one originating in Fort Wayne, Ind. But more power to the folks at Eddie Merlot’s:

Eddie Merlot’s is taking the next step, or perhaps 11 smaller steps, in creating a national brand.

The Fort Wayne-based steakhouse and seafood chain, which opened the doors to its first restaurant in 2001, plans to add five locations next year and six in 2010, giving the budding business a total of 15. Eddie Merlot’s currently has locations in Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Columbus, Ohio, and Cincinnati.

Despite a downturn in the economy that has taken a toll across the restaurant industry, Merlot’s has managed to keep growing. Finding a niche customer base or new market may be the key for those looking to expand, those in the business say.

Love a good steak. I used to eat out several times a week. These days, I seldom do, which is probably why I don’t mind hitting one of those high-end places when I do dine out. I haven’t been to the Eddie Merlot’s here, but I’ve tried the one in Indy, and it is wonderful. So is St. Elmo’s. One of the best steaks I’ve ever had, though, is the New York strip at Bravo!, an Italian restaurant (part of another small chaine) on 86th Street in Indianapolis. Has anyone tried Ruth’s Chris? I keep hearing ads for them on WOWO, even though we don’t have one here.

Hell’s waiting

This week’s nominees for the Eighth Circle of Hell (the Seventh is for the merely violent):

Indianapolis police have received reports that one or more people have been going door to door in Indianapolis soliciting money for an injured officer.

Lt. Jeff Duhamell, Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department spokesman, said Sunday that police had taken several calls during the weekend from residents reporting such solicitations. He said IMPD has not endorsed any such collection and advised residents to call police.

IMPD Patrolman Jason A. Fishburn, 29, was shot in the head July 10 while chasing a man subsequently charged in connection with three recent homicides. He remains in critical condition at Wishard Memorial Hospital.

Give money to people and causes you select. Don’t trust people who just show up at your door.

(I myself belong in Level 6 — the City of Dis — reserved for heretics, according to the Dante’s Inferno Test, although Levels 2 and 3, for the lustful and gluttonous, were apparently tied for a close second. Test yourself, if you dare.)

Melongolly

OK, God works in mysterious ways, but a bullet-proof watermelon?

Police later showed Thompson the path the bullet took through her car. She now believes that path was guided by God.

“Came through the door, hit her, then it went to the Bible,” she said. The Bible was sitting on the seat between the two girls. “It went in here and come out here and it shredded my Sunday School book. The word of God slowed the bullet so that it didn’t kill anybody.”

A watermelon Jaelyn was holding in her lap eventually stopped the bullet.

“Right in the watermelon. Didn’t come out of the watermelon,” Thompson said. “The word of God and the Lord’s power saved. He sent the bullet into the watermelon.”

She said that both her granddaughters are OK and that eventually Shyann’s bullet wound would heal.

I’m all for milking a good story, but come on: This account doesn’t even bother to mention that the gun battle sending stray bullets in the car also resulted in the death of one Jeffrey Taylor, shot in the back. How come God didn’t show up with two watermelons?

The name game

Oh, well. At least somebody tried:

The Indianapolis International Airport board on Friday reaffirmed their plan not to rename the airport after Col. Harvey Weir Cook, an aviator in both world wars.

 

Instead, the road leading to the new terminal building and the terminal itself will be named after the colonel, 6News’ Julie Pursley reported.

Guess that’s about all we can expect for a hometown hero in the age of globalization. How about the Paul Baer Snack Bar in the Art Smith Terminal of Fort Wayne International Airport?

Easy commute

Wave of the future?

A Virginia company today announced it will hire 480 people to work in a “virtual” call center - their own homes.

N.E.W. Customer Service Companies will hire customer reps from Terre Haute and surrounding west-central Indiana cities over the next three years.

The company provides service plans, wireless handset replacement nsurance and customer support services for the consumer electronic, computer and wireless industries, according to a news release from the Indiana Economic Development Corp.

Soooo cool. I envy my brother’s ability to telecommute, and I’d love to do it, too. What commuting costs are just now forcing many to contemplate, technology has made possible for years.

Out of the pool and into the court

Anybody left who still thinks the Olympics are about international good will and the purity of amateur competition?

Gold medalist Laura Wilkinson has sued to gain a synchronized diving spot that would remove Elwood’s 15-year-old Mary Beth Dunnichy from the U.S. Olympic team.

[. . .]

The 10-page filing asks that Wilkinson and Jessica Livingston be placed on the team in the synchro 10-meter platform event, or that another competition be held against Dunnichay and Haley Ishimatsu.

[. . .]

Even though Wilkinson and Livingston had a slightly higher average at a selection camp, 329.88 to 327.32, a panel picked the Ishimatsu/Dunnichay team because it had the highest single score (346.9 of four rounds and a higher “projected competition score,” according to the complaint.

I wonder why nobody’s done a reality show yet in which the contestants try to come up with the most inappropriate things to sue someone over. No, that wouldn’t do — it would threaten the integrity of the criminal justice system, wouldn’t it?

Good news for the lottery

Mob enforcers Police officials quickly muscle out the competition do their duty to keep a high moral standard in the state:

Officials have shut down a central Indiana business where they suspect patrons were illegally playing poker for money.

The Indiana Gaming Control Division served a search warrant Wednesday night at the Hold ‘Em House in Tipton about 30 miles north of Indianapolis.

They suspected poker was being played. At a place called the Hold ‘Em House. Geniuses.

Nice work if you can get it

What’s wrong with this picture?

ALBANY — Senator Joseph L. Bruno, who led the State Senate for 14 years, has offered many reasons why he is leaving the Senate by the end of the week after a public career of four decades.

[. . .]

There is another factor to consider, though.

Mr. Bruno, a Republican, is likely to get a significant raise from the state by retiring.

He is paid the base legislative salary of $79,500, but his pension, which is a percentage of the average of his three highest-salary years, will be $90,000 to $100,000, because until June he received an extra $41,000 a year for being majority leader, according to the state comptroller’s office. He would be giving up somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,300 a month, before taxes, by remaining in office.

Indiana’s legislators have a pretty generous pension plan, but at least they get only part-time pay while they’re actually serving.

Praise be

Here’s a line from a story in the Richmond paper,

Richard Bryant ordinarily accepted his kudos for victories on the football field as coach of the Red Devils

and a quiz. What’s wrong with the following sentence? The kudos received by the coach is much deserved.

Give up? Nothing. It was a trick question. You know, if it weren’t for newspapers, that word would have died out a long time ago.

Judging the judge

Anybody have any sympathy for Judge Kenneth Scheibenberger, who now faces formal charges of judicial misconduct before the Indiana Supreme Court? I have some:

On November 30, 2007, Judge Scheibenberger suspended his court session and proceeded to the courtroom of Judge Frances C. Gull, Allen Superior Court, for the purpose of observing a sentencing hearing of a defendant in Judge Gull’s court. Judge Scheibenberger sat in the gallery wearing his judicial robe while the man was sentenced for a weapons violation.

As the sentencing hearing concluded, Judge Scheibenberger moved to the front of the courtroom, approached the deputy prosecutor, and created a disturbance during which he told the deputy prosecutor that the defendant was a drug dealer and declared, “Upstanding citizen, my ass!” in reference to a comment he heard during the sentencing. Judge Scheibenberger then turned to the man’s parents, who were seated in the front row. He said to them, “Are you related to that piece of shit? Upstanding citizen, my ass! He’ll get his!” or words to that effect.

Judges perhaps more than any other professionals are supposed to leave their personal lives at the door. They’re charged with maintaining the dignity of the court and its neutrality. They’re supposed to be impartial, logical and free of passion. When we think of actually getting justice from the criminal justice system, we look first to the judges. So the Indiana Commission on Judicial Qualifications can’t be faulted for taking the actions it did.

But Scheibenberger let his grief as a parent overwhelm his judicial sensibilities. He believed the man had dealt drugs to his son, Sam, who died in August. A few years ago, he got an admonition from the commission because he got into his son’s file on a misdemeanor arrest and delayed the case, a clear use of judicial power for personal interest.

I’m not saying the Supreme Court should be lenient with the judge, or even arguing about how good a judge he has or has not been. It’s just easy to understand what anguish the family has been going through over their son.

Good gun control

Marion County Prosecutor Carl Brizzi vows to get tough on gun crimes with something called Project EVICT:

More than a decade ago, the federal government initiated a program called Project Exile. The premise of the program was that an offender gave up his “right” to remain in his community if he used a gun during the commission of a crime. The defendant was punished with a sentence of hard time, typically five years. To make the punishment worse, the offender was shipped far away from his home, his family and his friends.

Project EVICT would effect the same punishment by sending those arrested and convicted of gun crimes in Marion County to the New Castle Correctional Facility. More than 400 beds are available in a mix of minimum- and maximum-security settings. Taking these offenders 40 miles from home breaks up potential networking opportunities, makes family visitation more difficult and sends home the message that gun crime isn’t just illegal, it is intolerable.

Adding to the effectiveness would be mandatory sentences that increase in severity, say, five years for the first gun crime, 10 for the second, life for the third. But at least this is “gun control” that goes after the thugs instead of the people who have to defend themselves against the thugs.

Gimmicks

The Frugal Hoosiers blog calls out The Gary Post Tribune for being for a suspension of the state sales tax on gasoline (because that money just goes into the general fund) but against suspending the federal tax on gasoline (because that money is dedicated to highway maintenance):

This is a six and one half dozen argument.  The General Assembly has been reluctant to structure our budget in a way that dedicates funds because it becomes a shell game.  It allows government to increase fees or taxes that supply dedicated funds, reduce general fund appropriations, and artificially inflate the bottom line by increasing spending. 

Both suspensions are gimmicks. Both would save Hoosiers money, but not much. Both would require government to replace or do without large amounts of money. One is proposed by a Democrat, one by a Republican. Perhaps the Post Tribune has a blind spot.

After the flood

We always see or read about the heroic efforts to save a city or a neighborhood. But we seldom think about the life-gets-back-to-normal-drudgery aftermath:

Some of the sandbags used as a barricade to stop flood waters from pouring into Nick Cuthbertson’s home are still stacked in front of his small house.

The Martinsville resident had enlisted the help of friends as the flood waters rose June 14. He drove to the Morgan County Fairgrounds and hauled back 200 sandbags to his Cross Street home.

The bags helped him avert disaster. But he’s now left with another problem that, while nowhere near as dire, is nonetheless proving to be a hassle — disposing of those lumpy and heavy bags that once offered a fortress against the raging waters.

At least 500,000 such bags, each weighing 75-100 pounds, were used to fight back the waters that flooded parts of the state last month.

[. . .]

Because members of the Indiana National Guard helped get them stacked, placing the sandbags required a measure of statewide coordination. But Indiana Department of Homeland Security spokesman John Erickson said there is no statewide effort to remove them. That job is left to counties, which, in turn, are pretty much leaving it to residents to take care of the problem.

I tend to be both a packrat and a pessimist, so I’d probably just stack them in the back yard until the next flood — which is coming, we all know it is — shows up.

Off the bus

Well, this is interesting. “Shortbus” is an unrated film with sexually explicit scenes. It’s the kind of movie some would call obscene and some would not. In 1973, the Supreme Court more or less gave up on obscenity and decided it should be based on what an “average person” would consider “community standards.”

The movie came up in Fort Wayne two years ago when a man complained about the Allen County Public Library having a copy. The library decided to keep the copy and defended its decision. Now a patron of the Bloomington library has complained about the movie, and the result was different:

Bloomington Public Library patrons looking to rent the movie “Shortbus” on DVD won’t find it on the shelves.

A customer complained the movie was pornographic and a library committee decided to remove it.

I wouldn’t have guessed that the “City of Churches” would have the more tolerant standard. And I doubt if the Supreme Court realized it could be library directors rather than county preosecutors determining what communities’ standards are.

Dark days in Bluffton

Poor Bluffton. It got to be trendy for just a few months:

Starbucks Corp. has announced company-operated stores in Indianapolis and Bluffton are on the initial list of locations to be closed as part of the coffee retailer’s massive streamlining plan. A store on West 16th Street in Indianapolis and another on North Main Street in Bluffton will close by the end of the month.

The Bluffton store opened just last year. What will people there do for coffee at the end of the month? Trudge to the store — in all kinds of weather, no matter what other chores there are — and buy their coffee, just as people did in pioneer days? Have to find their own water with which to brew the coffee? Figure out how to mix in the right amounts of cream and sugar? Endure the hardship of cleaning the pot and cups? Agonize over how to dispose of the used grounds?

What a terrible tragedy.

The silly season

The world is getting to be such a serious place that I’m glad there are still a few silly things left, like this Wells County 4-H Fair opener:

The Bluffton Fire Department’s “Greased Pig” contest saw children in different age groups compete to see who could catch a greased pig in the shortest time. Over 100 entry forms were completed by youngsters eager to test their skills in the mud at the horse and pony arena.

Let’s enjoy it while we can. PETA is probably working on shutting such things down even now. These contests have to be embarrassing for the pigs. Perhaps not as embarrassing as putting hats and funny clothes on cats, which should be a federal offense, but bad enough.