I have dismissed the Olympics as anything but the noble competittion of amateurs they are claimed to be. But I’ve gotten caught up in the Dara Torres story. Who wouldn’t? At first, everybody thought it would be a nice nostalgia story, 41-year-old mother, retired from swimming, comes back for one last shot at the Olympics, the old lady might even make the team for a record fifth time. But she started kicking teen swimmers’ butts, and suddenly it’s a very real story of perseverance and achievement.
I have announced rather proudly that I take no notice of those silly reality shows, yet this summer I find myself semi-hooked on “America’s Got Talent.” The atrociousness is more varied — instead of just awful singers, there are awful dancers, awful jugglers, awful comedians and just plain awful people who defy description. And there are the surprising performers who pop up. Last night there was a ventriloquest who actually brought something new to that art form and a guy who made amazing hand shadows. And there was Queen Emily (watch video), the last performer of the evening, who came out and just knocked everybody’s socks off.
Be careful of what you publicly mock, I guess is my point.
A federal appeals court on Monday threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS Corp. for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction.”
The three-judge panel of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Federal Communications Commission “acted arbitrarily and capriciously” in issuing the fine for the fleeting image of nudity.
The 90 million people watching the Super Bowl, many of them children, heard Justin Timberlake sing, “Gonna have you naked by the end of this song,” as he reached for Jackson’s bustier.
The court found that the FCC deviated from its nearly 30-year practice of fining indecent broadcast programming only when it was so “pepervasive as to amount to ’shock treatment’ for the audience.”
Next, we’ll have more arguments and the continuing and expensive litigation over whether unscripted expletives (like Bono’s “F” word) should be fined. Isn’t it time to just dissolve the FCC? The only excuse for its existence — allocation of limited spaces on the electromagnetic spectrum — has beeen eliminated.
I once remarked to a friend that somebody must be watching Steven Seagal movies; otherwiswe, they wouldn’t keep making the damn things. I feel the same way about “The View,” although the demograpics of its audience would probably scare me to death.
“View” co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck was in tears Thursday after a discussion about the use of the n-word, in which fellow co-host Whoopi Goldberg told her the two “don’t live in the same world.”
During a segment covering Jesse Jackson’s recent use of the n-word while preparing to tape an interview on FOX News, Whoopi and co-host Sherri Shepard, who are both black, contested that the word has a different meaning for black people.
“It’s something that means something way different to me than it does to you,” said Shepard. “I can use it as a term of endearment.”
Shepard also said to co-host Barbara Walters: “I don’t want to hear it come out of your mouth.”
[. . .]
Goldberg, who used the n-word repeatedly during the broadcast (it was bleeped out), said that “We don’t live in the same world. What I need you to understand is the frustration that goes along with when you say we live in the same world. It isn’t balanced.”
Goldberg and Hasselbeck can fight over what worlds they’re in all they want to, as long as they stay off my planet. (Here’s video if you can stand it.) The dual use of racial and ehtnic epithets has long been the subject of debate. I’ve gone back and forth on the issue, but I find this persuasive:
Still, despite the best intentions, critics argue that using the N-word, particularly in entertainment, does more harm than good and gives others — whites and minorities alike — the impression that it’s no longer offensive in every context.
And don’t call me hillbilly, unless you’re going to buy me dinner first.
Best: Rush Limbaugh, in New Work Times Magazine interview, on Bill O’Reilly:
At dinner the night before, Bill O’Reilly’s name came up, and Limbaugh expressed his opinion of the Fox cable king. He hadn’t been sure at the time that he wanted it on the record. But on second thought, “somebody’s got to say it,” he told me. “The man is Ted Baxter.”
As this writer points out, somebody else has already called O’Reilly that: Keith Olbermann, who’s also called him the “Frank Burns of news.” But Olbermann feels that way about all conservatives, so it takes on a little more weight when Limbaugh says it. I’ve only been able to take O’Reilly a few minutes at a time, so I’m not really sure the conservative label fits. Mostly he just seems like a populist blowhard.
I don’t expect I’ll watch it, but The “Baby Borrowers,” on NBC tonight, is a reality show that might actually contribute something to society:
The show is based on a controversial British series in which teen couples considering parenthood are given a taste of what it might be like. In many cases, the participants succumb to soul-crushing stress. Rifts in the relationships develop. Frayed nerves, tears and arguments are plentiful.
Executive producer Tom Shelley claims it’s an “entertaining, family-friendly” program with a vital “Scared Straight”-style message for teens: Think twice about sex and pregnancy. Along those lines, NBC has partnered with the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy to deploy “The Baby Borrowers” as an educational tool.
The only problem is that the ones who would benefit most from the message probably won’t be watching, and the ones who do tune in won’t be the ones who need to see it. Maybe some schools should get tapes of the series and show them in health class.
TIM Russert’s body wasn’t even cold in the ground before MSNBC anchors Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann started jockeying for his job, sources claim.
Oh, wait: “Russert himself wanted Chuck Todd, the NBC News political director he hired, to succeed him, said one source, who added that MSNBC hosts don’t stand a chance of landing ‘Meet the Press.’ The insider said, ‘They’re cable. They’re far too partisan. They have no gravitas. If gravitas is eight letters, they’re about seven letters short.’ ” Whew! May have dodged a bullet.
This story asks the question “Has Reality TV Hit Rock Bottom?” and the answer is obvious:
Maybe you thought reality TV hit the lowest of the low when “Fear Factor” contestants devoured cockroaches, or when gold diggers paraded their wares in hopes of marrying a millionaire, or when Tila Tequila got a second shot at “love” with 10 guys and 10 girls.
Those shows look like “Masterpiece Theater” compared to what’s coming.
Take, for instance, “Hurl,” an eating-and-regurgitating competition in which contestants gorge themselves on everything from chicken pot pies to peanut butter sandwiches, then get strapped into spinning contraptions — whoever vomits last wins.
I wrote a long time ago, it seems now, that it became impossible to parody TV when it embraced self-parody with a made-for-television movie called “The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island.” That was, I now understand, the Golden Age.
The linked story is from ABC News. “Rock bottom” will be when “Good Morning America” or “Today” has the winner of “Hurl” — or the most recent contestant disqualified — as a guest the morning after. Don’t bet against me on this one.
Everything old is new again. And we’re not just talking about Indiana Jones and the raiders of the movie box office or that remake of “Get Smart.”
Coming to the small screen this summer are “Million Dollar Password” and “Celebrity Family Feud,” updated versions of vintage game shows.
The original “Password” started on CBS in 1961 with Alan Ludden as host. It eventually ran on ABC and NBC and was on and off in daytime through the 1970s.
I caught the premiere of “Million Dollar Password” last night, and it was: bad, terrible, awful. I was trying to get you to think of “atrocious.” With the word “millionaire” in the title and Philbin as the host, the show was about what you would expect — lots of flashing lights and swelling music and sweeping camera shots, plus lots of giggles and bantering from the “celebrities” Rachel Ray and Neal Patrick Harris.
Watching the old “Password” was like being in a library — you wanted to be quiet and respectful, even if there wasn’t a librarian going, “Shhh.” There was Ludden with his glasses, the static and boring set, the announcer actually whispering the word so we’d know the contestants couldn’t hear. The classiest of game shows, and now they want to trash it up.
Geez. I already knew many in the press were in bed with politicians, so I didn’t really need to hear this:
NEW YORK (AP) - entertainmentminute After three decades of keeping mum, Barbara Walters is disclosing a past affair with married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke, whom she remembers as “exciting” and “brilliant.”
Appearing on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” scheduled to air Tuesday, Walters shares details of her relationship with Brooke that lasted several years in the 1970s, according to a transcript of the show provided to The Associated Press.
A moderate Republican from Massachusetts who took office in 1967, Brooke was the first African-American to be popularly elected to the Senate. Both he and Walters knew that public knowledge of their affair could have ruined his career as well as hers, Walters says.
On “Oprah,” no less, to sell her stupid tell-all book. Call me old-fashioned, but I think affairs should be kept secret, and whatever happened to the idea of being discreet and circumspect and private? Oh, wait, this is a TV star. Maybe Baba can interview herself. “So, what kind of tree did you think you were while having the affair?”
Justice Antonin Scalia was on “60 Minutes” trying to explain Originalist constitutional thinking to Leslie Stahl, and he might as well have been talking to the wall:
Scalia has no patience with so-called activist judges, who create rights not in the Constitution - like a right to abortion - by interpreting the Constitution as a “living document” that adapts to changing values.
“It is an enduring Constitution that I want to defend,” he says.
“But what you’re saying is, let’s try to figure out the mindset of people back 200 years ago? Right?” Stahl asks.
“Well, it isn’t the mindset. It’s what did the words mean to the people who ratified the Bill of Rights or who ratified the Constitution,” Scalia says.
“As opposed to what people today think it means,” Stahl asks.
“As opposed to what people today would like,” Scalia says.
“But you do admit that values change? We do adapt. We move,” Stahl asks.
“That’s fine. And so do laws change. Because values change, legislatures abolish the death penalty, permit same-sex marriage if they want, abolish laws against homosexual conduct. That’s how the change in a society occurs. Society doesn’t change through a Constitution,” Scalia argues.
Values do change, and that’s what the law is for. Bedrock principles do not change, and that is what the Constitution is for. That seems so basic to any understanding of a constitutional republic’s operation, but so many people are willing to blur the role of the Constitution and the law. If you really buy into the “living Constitution” argument, you’re willing to let nine people tell you what the law of the land is. And they might do things you like or things you abhor, and you will live under the tyranny of the whim of the moment.
It had to happen sometime: American Idol is showing signs of mortality in its seventh season.
Ratings for TV’s top show are down 7% to an average 29 million viewers for regular episodes and down 10% among adults ages 18 to 49, the main currency on Madison Avenue.
It’s still big enough for Fox to be the ratings champ, though. Might I suggest a night at a karaoke bar? The entertainment value will be the same, and you’ll get out of the house.
When thinking about Oprah Winfrey’s approach to the metaphsyical, writes Indiana Unviversity professor Kathryn Lofton, it’s important to make a distinction between religion and spirituality:
The only way religion or religious belief works for Oprah is if it is carefully coordinated with capitalist pleasure. Thus, the turn to ’spirituality’ — the non-dogmatic dogma that encourages an ambiguous theism alongside an exuberant consumerism,” Lofton said.
In Winfrey’s view, Buddhism isn’t about meditation and renunciation, it’s about beaded bracelets and fragrant incense. “Christianity isn’t about Christ’s apocalyptic visions or the memorization of creeds, it’s about a friendly guy named Jesus and his egalitarian message. As long as you can spend, feel good about yourself and look good, your religious belief will be tolerated on Planet O. The religion of Oprah is the incorporated faith of late-capitalist America,” Lofton said.
For more than 100 college presidents and athletic directors, beer and the NCAA men’s basketball tournament don’t mix.
The college leaders — among them the top officials at Harvard, Abilene Christian and Georgia State — wrote a letter to NCAAPresident Myles Brand on Wednesday calling beer advertising “embarrassingly prominent” during tournament broadcasts. They asked the organization to reconsider its policies on alcohol advertising.
Sports plus beer ads; what a shock. If the college presidents and athletic directors want to talk about something that’s “embarrassingly prominent,” how about near-professional sports teams that have become the tail wagging the college dog. Oh, wait, this just in: Eric Gordon is going pro after just a year at Indiana Univeristy.
The merging of technologies continues. Go here to watch full episodes of something like 200 different TV series instead of waiting for your favorite one to show up on TVland. “Hawaii 5-0″ and “Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” “St. Elsewhere” and “WKRP in Cincinnati” and “Lou Grant.” Wasn’t I just saying how cool it was that the old “Star Trek” episodes were online? Jeez. I think I’m going to be overusing that word.
The Oscars are a ratings dud. Nielsen Media Research says preliminary ratings for the 80th annual Academy Awards telecast are 14 percent lower than the least-watched ceremony ever.
I was a part of the vast majority that didn’t tune in. If I want to see shallow, self-satisfied people congratulating themselves, I’ll just go to the next Hoosier State Press Association awards banquet. You know what might have made a good show? If the writers strike had continued and they put the Oscars on anyway, with the presenters and hosts just saying normal things instead of scripted “wit.”
We now have the three finalists for the two-day “Jeopardy!” teen tournament (Thursday and Friday, 7:30-8 p.m., CBS): Fishers, Ind.; Paducah, Ky.; and Cincinnati, Ohio. Suck it up, coastal scum. Flyover Country rules!
David Phillips, senior climatologist for Environment Canada, calls the nonstop coverage “storm porn,” and said it inflates public anxieties about weather events.
I wouldn’t go that far. I think most of the TV weather talkers are just trying to report conditions as they are and make honest predictions. But I do sense a certain amount of glee sometimes when what they’re predicting is especially bad, and a certain sense of letdown when things don’t quite get as bad as predicted. I suppose that’s a failing common to those of us in the news business. I think there was a George Carlin bit that went something like, “75 traffic fatalities were predicted over the holiday weekend, but there were only 50. Some of you people weren’t doing your part!”
The Oscar nominations have been announced, and I don’t much care. It’s not so much because I’m an old fart who thinks the movies aren’t as good as they used to be (though I’m much more likely to enjoy the experience when watching Turner Classic Movies than I am when watching something new on the premium channels). It’s just that “going to the movies” has stopped being one of the things I do. I haven’t seen a single one of the nominated movies, and I won’t until they come out on DVD or hit one of my cable channels. When that happens, I will like or dislike the move, but it will just be one more digital experience among many, divorced from the year the movie was made and what it was competing with.
But the really good news is that the Oscar awards ceremony may suck so much that no one will bother to watch:
The annual rolling out of the nominees list normally sets the stage for a February full of hugs and kisses as Hollywood’s elite pat themselves on the back for a job well done. But writers are shutting down the town’s biggest parties to force management back to the negotiating table.
The rushed and tepid Golden Globes “ceremony” was a sure sign that the Oscars presentation could be in trouble, too.
I stopped watching the Oscars show, the most insufferable self-congratulatory orgy in the history of entertainment, long before I stopped going to the movies. Maybe “Casablanca” or some other earlier Oscar winner will be on TCM that night. Treat yourself, if it is.
I’ve never watched any reality TV shows, except a few minutes here and there when one of them was on right before another program I wanted to see. But a friend decided to check out “American Idol” this year (apparently, she was being left out of the conversation; that’s all anybody talks about the next morning), so I deicded to peek in, too. I won’t say it made my ears bleed, but, jeez.
I can see the fascination, especially in the early rounds. After you suffer through several bad singers in a row, it can be an almost transcendent experience to hear a halfway good one.
That same friend I and went shopping at Jefferson Pointe one Saturday afternoon. We had planned to finish the day at our favorite Mexican restaurant but found out it had closed, so we went over to the one at Park West and stumbled into Karaoke Night. Most of the singers were mediocre or worse, but it was good, silly fun for an unplanned evening. Then this old guy in a sweater and goofy golf cap shuffled up to the microphone. God, how horrible was he going to be? But he was wonderful — warm, mellow voice, like one of those old-time Big Band singers. And he didn’t oversell the song — just sailed through it like he’d been on stage all his life. The crowd gave him a thuderous ovation, and it’s a moment that’s stayed with me to this day. There must be moments like that on “American Idol.”
But about those bad singers. They are not just bad, they are not just awful, they are not just unbearable to listen to. They are weirdly awful in an almost supernatural way. And they have weird back stories. There is the kid who has been collecting his fingernails in a baggie, which he shows to everybody. There’s the one who’s never even kissed a woman. There was this guy:
Douglas Davidson, a 28-year-old student, says he has been trying “to restart my singing hobby since I was 16.” He says his father would catch him singing sometimes and tell him he hated him. Ooooo-kay. He walks around “warming up” for a couple of minutes. He shout-talks his way through “Livin’ on a Prayer.” It’s awful. He says he was rough on a couple of notes, and walks around “warming up” again. He starts another song, and it’s terrible, too. Simon tells him to stop and that it’s just not working. He ignores them all and keeps trying to sing. Simon: “No one in a million years is ever going to pay to hear you sing.” He starts walking and singing again. Security removes him. Simon: “Douglas, they’re going to take you someplace safe.”
That was some creepy television. I had known that the awful singers were delusional about their singing abilities. That’s all people talk about in the early shows, and how, after all, could they not be delusional to display their lack of talent before a national TV audience? But something I hadn’t understood without watching the show: Their lack of talent is not the only thing they are delusional about. Some of these people seem to exhibit symptoms of serious mental illness. They are not just oddballs. Going on Idol is part of their sickness. To trot them out for the sole purpose of national ridicule is more than just meanness or even cruelty. It borders on the unconscionable.
Or am I overreacting based on underexposure to the Idol phenomenon?
Via Fark, one of the great moments in entertainment history, William Shatner performing — I guess that’s the right word — “Rocket Man” at a science fiction convention. It happened 30 years ago today.
David Letterman and Jay Leno are back, and everybody is happy, though the writers’ strike goes on. Letterman is back with his writers, through a special deal, so he and his Top 10 list should be as funny as ever. Leno is back without writers, so his fans will get to see how good he really is on his own.
I’m happy for a special reason. With his new graybeard look, Letterman, my age, looks a lot older than me, and I didn’t think that was possible. Hang in there, old man. Grampy need a nappy?
You may have already seen this as a link, somewhere else, but it’s still fun to see. That guy never sounded so good! And James Taylor wasn’t bad, either.
I guess I should not have been dismissing “The View” as a loony gabfest by some awfully silly women. The history and religious insights I have been missing!
NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams” narrowly overtook “World News With Charles Gibson” on ABC to become the most-watched of the three network evening newscasts in November, a so-called sweeps month regarded by advertisers and the networks as a bellwether of the broadcasts’ fortunes.
Mr. Williams’s program attracted an average of 9.2 million viewers each night in November, about 100,000 more than Mr. Gibson’s program (9.1 million) and nearly 2.5 million more than the “CBS Evening News With Katie Couric” (6.7 million), according to Nielsen estimates released by the networks yesterday. Among viewers ages 25 to 54, the category to which advertising rates are pegged, NBC edged ABC by just 20,000 viewers (2.79 million to 2.77 million).
Notably, Ms. Couric’s overall audience was down over a million (or 13.5 percent) when compared with the same month a year ago.
You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. On any given night, any of them has the potential to be more annoying than it’s worth to put up with.
