Animal rites

September 25, 2008

Who knew? Sheep aren’t people:

The Michigan Court of Appeals has ruled that a Battle Creek man who was convicted of sodomizing a sheep will not have to register as a sex offender when he is released from prison.

[. . .]

The law requiring sex offender registry “defines ‘victim’ as a ‘person who suffers direct or threatened physical, financial, or emotional harm as a result of the commission of an offense’ and ‘person’ as ‘an individual, organization, partnership, corporation, or governmental entity,'” the appellate ruling said.

Because animals are technically not people or individuals, Haynes — or anyone else convicted in Michigan of bestiality — will not have to register as a sex offender, according to the appeals court ruling.

I can think of several ways to take this in a Bob & Tom or Conan O’Brien direction, but there’s a serious point to make. Animals are “techincally not people”? No, animals are NOT people. The point of sex-offender registries is to let PEOPLE know where the perverts are so they can protect themselves and their children. There are enough problems with the registries — creating a class of criminals who have to pay more than once for the same crime, for example. Throwing animals into the mix just makes a problematic approach ludicrous.


2 Responses to “Animal rites”

  1. Bob G. Says:

    Well, a lot more lonely upland Irishmen are breathin’ a wee bit easier now, don’cha know.


  2. Mitchell Says:

    I’ll look forward to the explanation why a “organization, partnership, corporation, or governmental entity” should be people but animals shouldn’t be.

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